I began my soul healing journey at 29. I already had enough insight (I’d read it somewhere!) that 29 is the half Saturn Return & whatever you fail to address at this point in your life it likely to come back full throttle at the full Saturn return. Truly, I’m not sure what woke up in me then, but just be reading those words, something had changed, opened & I knew in my heart there was now only one direction I could travel in, and that was out of the shitstorm which was my life & into a more wholesome way of being.
Living in London squats to a buying a flat in Kentish Town, sales assistant to Manger of swanky fashion houses, but life was empty, directionless & highly damaging to my soul.
Drug addiction, self-loathing, emotionally crippled, failing relationship, emotional abuse, narcissist, & gaslighter & rape. I wanted to be the one that saved him, failing to understand the basics of life ~ you can only, truly heal yourself, that is your only responsibility in life.
I tried a couple of vague attempts to extricate myself from my own life ~ I sold my flat, left London & friends & moved back into the bosom of my family. I quit the drugs, on my own, but the itch was still present as I’d failed to address any of the core wounds that made self-loathing a daily affair.
Back in London, new job & relationship, I headed into the seedy underbelly of underground raves & twilight living. These relationships ever more emotionally destabilising than the last but for so many different reasons ~ my belief in myself, & my self-worth plummeted further ~ the dark night of the soul, the deepest place to travel ~ life unravelled even faster this time. No stability or inner control ~ car crash waiting to happen.
And yet, I’d been told by an Astrologer, years before, that when the chips were down, choices few, that “The Cavalry” would always appear from over that hill ~ a sense that I would always be saved, and I held this deep in my psyche & believed it & felt it. It gave me some comfort & inner strength.
Now working in a bar in central London, awash with City types, bouncers, pimps & dealers, I moved back into retail management, a bit of stability for a second when I found I had conceived. My housing fell through & I moved from place to place, desperate & longing for the father to be part of his daughters life. Unable to commit, but never for a moment did I waiver in my desire to birth this child. My neediness though still knew no bounds & I cringe at the desperate way I threw myself at his feet. Arriving home one night in February, blisteringly cold & snowing, I turned the corner of the street to find my belongings dumped in the garden… I cried on that doorstep for what felt like a lifetime ~ surely this was the bottom? Surely there was no place left to fall? The next day I called my area manager, get me out, I need to leave, now, today, tomorrow & he did, he helped my find my way home.
That’s 27 years ago now & my heart is for ever grateful to the soul, my daughter that arrived, like the cavalry, to play her part in my recovery of & to myself.
I studied Astrology, & changed career, moving into the holistic healing world, to poor balm onto to my heart & maybe to help others.
Energy Healing & holistic healing & every other thing that was available, I lapped it up as I began to realise, I had an affinity for this work & how it supported my own healing journey.
What I had failed to understand, until quite recently, was my sensitivity, my ability to be able to read energy, from the time I arrived here on this earth & how instead of it being recognised by others and cherished & fostered, it was used a tool against me, the “she’s too sensitive” label, its consequence was the inability to feel safe in my body, I wasn’t able to trust what my body felt, because I was continually told I got it wrong.
My journey has been slow & arduous, never once would I change it, but my dreams & desires are to support you so that your journey to selflove & sovereignty are less gruelling & more self-assured. Energy has changed, what once took years of dedicated self-work & guidance, money & determination, can now be achieved, often in the moment. I have witnessed countless women move through their woundings, shame & self-destruction, because we have so much more in terms of higher frequency available.
Maybe you resonant with my journey, maybe it’s partly yours, or maybe you just know intuitively, that I have lived & moved from survival into healing & that there will be no judgement, no disempowerment, that my heart is big & that I have developed skills to nurture your soul and that together, we can cocreate & lead you into the life that you were always destined to live, the one you dream of and the one you DESIRE within every vibrating cell of your being.
From my Heart to your Heart, Andrea xx
Throughout my healing journey, I have been blessed to work, train, retreat & workshop with so many beautiful souls, who daily make such an impact on this world in which we live. My personal, emotional, spiritual & embodied transformation would not have been possible without their love, care, attention & support.
Clare Spink {Womb & Fertility Massage training & Associate trainer}, Tami Lyn Kent {Holistic Pelvic Care/Wild Feminine}, Uma Dinsmore Tulli {Womb Yoga/Yoni Shakti}, Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer {Red School/Wild Power}, Anna Verwaal {From Womb to World}, William Emerson {Pre & Perinatal Birth Trauma}, Olivia Bryant {Self:Cervix}, Jenna Ward {Feminine Embodiment Coaching}, Diana Beaulieu {Sacred Womb Awakening}, Mike Neville {Spiritual Mentor & Healer & dear friend}
Now, I find myself in the best place that I have ever been in this life. I have found roots in the first house that I can truly call “home” and I have found myself, my courage, my inner landscape, my needs, my desire, my power. Now that there is a stillness, I can begin to create a life and a service that meets my souls’ contract. I hope this for you too x
